In my head - Journey to letting go

Okay simply put, blogging has been kinda hard for me so I thought I'll allow myself and you to get in my head and see how come and what the next steps could be. I hope you're ready to dig into all the stuff in my head including the logistics, plans, and worries or concerns.

Before that - If you are new to the family, my full name is Moyofoluwa Rachel Aguda and I am a rising senior majoring in Biochemistry at the University at Buffalo in Buffalo, NY. I aspire to obtain an MD/Ph.D. degree at the same university but I'm also learning to keep my options open.

Academically, I am in a space where I need to actively prepare for my future career which includes taking the MCAT (Medical College Admission Test), and gathering necessary experiences before I graduate.

Creatively and especially in relation to this blog, it goes without saying that I LOVE the entirety of blogging, sharing life lessons and whatever God has prepared for you and me. It is always a privilege to be His mouthpiece. However, some of this process has been a struggle.

Last year, after the blog post titled "Episode 1 - Appetizer" where I introduced the pit experience, I may have also fallen into the pit. I was overwhelmed that I quit my tutoring job. In addition, I developed new medical conditions regarding my eyesight, and as much as I wanted to write you about it and God's healing power, I somehow permitted doubt and altogether gave up the idea. Slowly, I began giving up many ideas from there on and I completely lost sense of what I should be writing. I struggled to release a few blog posts before declaring a break.

In the course of my break and in my sincere desire to find the love and passion I have for writing, I began recreating this blog (design-wise) and I loved the outcome. Anyway, I ended up changing its name from Journey with Mo to In The World In Faith. I sought God's will in the process and although I don't remember any specific encounter, I imagine that I must have been convinced that He will go with me as I was too scared to continue blogging without God's inspiration.

Now, to the glory of God, I have released a few more blog posts but I'd love to do more. Very recently, I have also been concerned about other details of my blog such as the domain, the host, branding, and so on. I have worried that this blog is not "established" yet. I have also worried about my following - not the numbers but the audience type. Am I really writing to people who value my writings? Am I actually encouraging you where you are? Or is this a community of people who subscribed mindlessly? All of these worries and concerns stand in the way of my creativity and writing.

Thus I am realizing that the word of God, my first love remains true.

Matthew 18:1-4 says "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever, therefore, shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

If it is true - and it is true - that the kingdom of God is within and among us (Luke 17:21), then Matthew 18:1-4 can be understood differently. Jesus is not just saying those who become little children will make it to heaven on the last day. He is also saying they will be the ones to truly see and experience the kingdom of God that is already among us. It makes sense that Jesus also followed the same principle. His ministry and calling is the most important one there's ever been and ever will be yet there's no record of a time He was worried about a name for His ministry or a mission/vision. The name "Christianity or Christians" was not given by Jesus as He didn't concern Himself with adult matters such as this. He simply lived freely like a child.

My encouragement to you and me is to let go of the details and worries adults get concerned about and become like a little child doing only what the father instructs. That is the only way I see to experience the kingdom of God among us that is full of joy, peace, and glory. Of course with this encouragement goes the prayer that may God help us identify those adult-like roles/businesses we concern ourselves with and may He supply grace to release control of them all.

Your sister-in-Christ,

Moyo

In The World In Faith